Worth It
by LitttleRed
Summary: I knew a lot about Sonny. She's a huge pain in the ass, stubborn beyond belief, and loves picking a fight over nothing. I also knew that there's nobody else in the world I'd want more than her, and through all her faults, she's absolutely worth it.
1. Worth it

**I really miss this show. Thankfully we still have fanfiction! I suck at updating stories and coming up with good ideas so I'm 98% this is a one-shot, or possibly a series of one-shots. Whatever I make it out to be, I hope you enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own SWAC.**

* * *

"See, Chad? _This_ is why we can't go through with it. We can't get along!" She all but screamed at me.

I looked around our apartment, running my hand through my hair in frustration and panic. This is the third time this week that this has happened.

"Sonny, calm down."

"Do NOT tell me to calm down. We've been fighting, worse than usual. We can never agree on anything. I think we just need to-"

"I swear to God, if you finish that sentence-"

"Break up."

I closed my eyes and breathed forcefully out of my nose. "You know, ever since I proposed you find _any reason_ to try to break it off. If you don't want to be with me, tell me. Stop making excuses."

"I do want to be with you," she protested.

"Obviously not." I snapped, shaking my head. "You've ended it three times this week. Yeah, I really see the desire to have a life and build a family with me."

"I just want to make sure this is the right decision.." She trailed off quietly.

"Oh, please!" I scoffed. "You know we're meant to be together. We've been together for years and we've made it work. Your past relationships were shit and now you're afraid to make a commitment because you think you'll get hurt. But I'm not going to hurt you; I would never leave you, and I definitely wouldn't cheat on you. I don't know what else you want from me."

She stared at me silently with tears running down her cheeks.

"Fine," I said, resigned. "I'll go. The engagement is off."

Tears fell more freely now. "Chad," she cried, desperate.

I turned back to look at her and felt my stomach drop. Tears ran down her face, her arms crossed across her chest and her slim frame shook slightly. A thick silence filled the room, the discomfort palpable. I turned and walked quickly down the hallway to our bedroom, grabbing my keys, wallet, and a change of clothes and tried to ignore the pain and her cries. I wanted to be angry -I was- but I groaned internally at the sorrow and guilt that accompanied the anger. I shouldn't feel guilty, she chose this.

I grabbed my stuff and returned to the living room. Sonny was in the same spot where I left her and she rubbed her eyes aggressively. It broke my heart to see her in pain but I knew I needed to leave. I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and kissed her forehead, breathing her in and memorizing the feel of her warm skin one last time. She slowly began to lean in and I pulled away without a word, opening the door and slamming it shut on the way out. I drove to the nearest hotel and desperately tried to pay attention to the road.

"Room for two?" The lady asked with an eyebrow raised. She probably recognizes me. I frowned as I recalled all the girls I'd taken here. I'd never had sex with any girl besides Sonny, nor had I fooled around. The farthest I'd gone with any other girl was a heavy make-out, but I'd take them here for a good charming. CDC always had to charm the ladies.

I smiled politely. "No, thank you. Just one."

I sighed dejectedly as I got into bed, replaying tonight's events in my head. Had I overreacted and been too dramatic? Possibly. A large part of me knew this wasn't the end of us, but a smaller part of me was still afraid. I've never walked out on Sonny after a fight. I always stayed and forced us to work it out and if that wasn't accomplished, I'd sleep in a guest room or in the living room. But this time was necessary; she needed to realize that she can't keep trying to end it. All of the problems and fights were introduced and initiated by _her._ When we were teens, I would always start fights to get her riled up. But this was beyond ridiculous. We were 22 now, both with successful careers and planning on starting a life together. Apparently we weren't on the same page with that one. Although I understood her hesitation and fear, it was still undeniably hard on me. Sighing and shaking my head, I tossed and turned until I fell into a restless sleep, tonight's happenings put aside but not forgotten.

* * *

I got nervous butterflies as I turned to door knob, pushing open the door to our apartment. I frowned when I took in the scene. Shattered glass lay all over the living room floor, broken picture frames strung out with ripped up pictures of Sonny and I. She lay on the floor, breathing quickly and lightly. Her hands and arms were streaked and splotched with blood. I frowned as I sat on the floor, pushing her matted hair out of her face, which had dry tears and blood on it. Her eyes fluttered open and she stared at me with empty eyes.

"Sonny.." I faltered, struggling to remain calm. "What did you do?" That wasn't the right question. It was painfully obvious what she did. The better question would be _why._

She lay still, limp but stiff. She wouldn't meet my eyes; wouldn't even look at me. I clenched my fists in frustration.

"Sonny!"

She sniffled as tears ran down her and cheeks and she sat up, slightly wobbly. "We're not getting married."

"No." I agreed. "We're not. At least not any time soon."

"I'm sorry," she hiccuped, rubbing tears off of her face, smearing the blood. "I wish I was better for you."

I smiled sadly. "You're perfect, Sonshine. You're.." I sighed. " _We're_ just not ready. And that's fine. We have the rest of our lives to figure it out. And if we don't work out, at least we can say we tried."

"I want us to work." She mumbled quietly, staring at our fingers laced together.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and let out a shaky laugh. "Believe me, I do too."

"You're not going to leave?" She questioned, her big brown eyes meeting mine intensely. "You'll stay?"

"As long as you want me here," I promised, smiling reassuringly.

"Thank you, Chaddy." She giggled, but the happy sound didn't reach her eyes. I knew it would take us awhile to fully recover from this. "I love you."

I pushed away my musings and focused on the beautiful girl in front of me. "I love you too _."_

 _I knew a lot about Sonny. She's a huge pain in the ass, stubborn beyond belief, and loves picking a fight over nothing. I also knew that there's nobody else in the world I'd want more than her, and through all her faults, she's absolutely worth it._


	2. Stay

**I've never done a songfic before and to be completely honest, I don't really like them. BUT, I'm trying to branch out and discover more writing so I'll give it a shot. Plus, this song will be easy to work with. However, I'm not doing the whole song, only clips and switching between characters/scenes so hopefully it's not too confusing.**

 **Side note: I'm not going to be updating super frequently due to the fact that I've recently become a mother (to a puppy) but I am getting a Macbook air so that will motivate me to update more often. Enjoy :)**

 **WARNING: adult themes mentioned/implied.**

 _Round and around and around and around we go,_

 _oh now tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know_

The fighting was unbearable, undoubtedly driving me to the point of insanity. He's just such an _ass._ His condescending arrogance did nothing on the positive side to compliment his unrequited sarcastic personality. I'd thought that he'd grow out of it once we got out of Condor Studios; maybe once the flame of his central drama TV show died, or he became an adult. If anything, all of those happenings made it worse. He never flat out said "I'm better than you" like when we were teens, but his attitude said it all. _He_ was superior.

 _Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move_

 _Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way_

 _I want you to stay_

I sighed as I took a sip of the bourbon I held in my hand. I definitely wasn't one for hard liquor, or alcohol in general, but tonight it was much needed. I watched as her hips swayed back and forth to the slow and sensual song, smiling up at Nico as they laughed and chatted. We were at a ridiculously fancy hotel for a _very_ unnecessary studio reunion. We all still talked/visited on a daily basis. But we came, to support Condor and get out of the house; but mostly get away from each other.

The tension and desperation was getting too intense. I don't remember the last time we've cuddled or enjoyed each others company. We still sleep in our bed and we still sleep together. But not for the same reasons as before; there's no intimacy or romance. Just for the pure sake of attempting to relieve frustration and hoping it'll fix our problem. The idea in itself is futile; _we're_ not even sure what our problem is. But standing here and seeing her pressed flush against Nico, trying desperately to push back the pathetic jealousy and despair, I know I can't live without her.

 _It's not much of a life you're living_

 _It's not just something you take, it's given_

"It doesn't work like that!" I screamed for the millionth time that night, wincing as it tore through my raw throat.

"God dammit Sonny, why can't you ever see my side of things?" He shouted, walking closer to me.

His eyes were bloodshot and his hair was sticking in all different directions from running his fingers through it so much in frustration. His chest rose and fell quickly and his hands shook slightly.

I hiccuped a low sob and held my head in my hands. "I can't do this anymore, Chad. I can't!"

He laughed bitterly, sounding so hateful. My heart clenched painfully. " _You_ can't do this anymore? You're the one who always starts this shit! One problem after another. It never ends."

My head snapped up and I glared at him. "Yes, I'll admit that I do start it sometimes. But I'm not the only one. Start taking some damn responsibility, Chad."

He scowled at me angrily in stony silence. I kept going.

"Like, the jealousy? I can't hang out with _anyone_ , not even Tawni, without you constantly worrying about me cheating or _flirting_ -because you know, we're in high school I guess- and I can't have a simple conversation with a guy without you getting huffy. And your constant need for attention, it's ridiculous. You know I love you more than anything but it's not healthy for me to completely revolve around you. You _can't_ blame everything on me and expect everything from me. Relationships are about _give and take."_

 _"_ I can't help the jealousy," He growled.

"You _can_ help the need to control me 24/7! You're trying so hard to keep me here but it's only driving me farther away."

"Do you have any idea how much I love you?" He whispered intensely, wrapping his hands around my arms and bringing me closer. His pained blue eyes met mine fiercely.

"Too much," I whispered back, letting a tear roll down my cheek which would be, hopefully, the last tear for the night.

 _Oh the reason I hold on_

 _Oh cause I need this hole gone_

I grew up in a good home. Though my parents were rich and successful, maybe you could even call them famous. They were definitely well known. I can't say I had many friends because, truthfully, I didn't. I focused too much on improving my acting to make friends. I had some here and there but I wasn't too interested. Maybe that's why I was that way; cocky and arrogant. Conceited, even. Since I was little my entire life revolved around myself, my ability, and my future. Until I met little miss Sonshine, that is.

Even though I had good, loving parents and success no one at my age could possibly imagine, I still felt empty. Maybe it was the lack of friends, or the way I went through girls like they were chocolate and never obtained any feelings for them. Maybe it's because I was entirely too focused on myself.

Whatever the reason might be, I felt empty; I felt there was a _hole._ Who knew a small-town brunette with a unique sense of humor could change that completely? I sure as hell didn't. To be completely honest, I didn't even know there was a hole until I fell for her. Out of all the things I didn't know, and still don't know, one thing is for sure; she made the hole go away. With her, _the hole is gone._

I'll admit that, lately, ending things with Sonny is on my mind more often than not. Given the fact that, even now, even when we're screaming down each others throats and I leave to escape her, she's still there. She's still there in the angry flush of my cheeks, the sick feeling in my stomach, the hollow emptiness in my chest. She's still there, where I need her to be. Because -even with the screaming and bickering; the immense anger and second-guessing our entire relationship- there's no doubt in my mind that all I really want is for her to stay.

 _Not really sure how to feel about it_

 _Something in the way you move_

 _Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way_

 _I want you to stay_


End file.
